June 22, 2002 - Rest in Peace Brianna

FORGET ME NOT

~Author Unknown~

Forget me not
When I am gone.
My memories in stone.
When day is done
And you are all alone
Forget me not
For good times shared.
The nights we were but one
Forget me not.
With each rising moon
And the setting of the sun
Forget me not.
As you grow old
The days, they just seem longer.
Remember with each passing moment
My love for thee is stronger.

All I can say is wow...what a day. It's midnight here & I'm still up. Just got done taking pictures of the beautiful sunset we had tonight (11:30). We did have some clouds over the mountain at 1:00, but tonight it was a beautiful sunset.

To look over there & 'see' my sweet baby girl laying there peacefully is just so calming. Brought tears to my eyes.

Today, there weren't very many tears. Although it was sad, it was a very happy day. Why, you may ask? Relief. I know she is in a better place. She is overlooking the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen.

We landed on Mt Susitna's head, in a spot that we knew we couldn't miss from far away. We got out of the helicopter & immediately saw a rock sticking up in the middle of nowhere. Perfect we said. A rock just for her. So we got in front of it, Kevin opened the urn while I opened the keepsake container that had the Alaska state flower, Forget-Me-Nots, & Pacific Northwest wildflowers in it.

We each spread the contents at the same time. The breeze was just enough to spread them all around. Did I cry at this point. No. I was so free. Free of pain for her, free of ups & downs, free of never-ending hospital stays, just free. Seeing the wind pick her up, I knew that she was free as well.

I picked some wildflowers that were blooming there along with a small rock, to keep in the trinket that had the Forget-Me-Nots in it. Just a little keepsake to treasure of our journey.

As I sit here typing this, I am crying. Maybe it's because it just hit me.

Brianna has done something for all of us. She has brought hundreds of people together. She has given us strength that nobody can explain into words. She is how I have made it through this. She truly was an Angel sent from God.

Brianna brought me many firsts. My first child. My first hospital stay. My first lear jet ride. My first helicopter ride. My first look into what life is really all about. But most of all, my first Angel.

I would like to share a poem that a coworker of my mom's wrote for her 8 year old son when he fell off of Flattop mountain while hiking & died. She has modified it for a little girl.

The Littlest Angel

The littlest angel in heaven
Loves puppies and rainbows of fun
Heaven will never be just as it was
Now that her life there's begun.

She'll turn fluffy clouds into snowmen
And swing on the stars up above.
She'll turn golden streets into playgrounds
And fill up God's home with her love.

She'll make dandelions out of sunbeams
And find grassy meadows for playing
Her laughter will ring where great choirs sing,
But she'll hear me whenever I'm praying.

The littlest angel in heaven
Is the one I am longing to see,
For the child that belongs now with Jesus
Is the child that belonged once with me.

I love you Brianna with all of my heart. Every time I close my eyes I hear your tender voice & see your sweet beautiful face. Mommy & Daddy will greet you again at Heaven's Gate, but for now, we will just have to wait.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Kevin, Jamie, & Sweet Angel Brianna Renee